The subject of eyebrows has been popping up lately. Our niece just got an intervention from her two meddling gay uncles because she was plucking her way into the land of the Chola. Goggle it.
What is it with you people and your brows? Sure they get a little bushy and need some trimming and shaping from time to time. But do you really want to take them off completely and then have to draw them back on with an eyebrow pencil or a ...red magic marker?
I can see some appeal in giving yourself a set of brows each morning that make a real moody statement for the day ahead. Like, "Wow! I'm so surprised today!", or "Arrrgh! I sure am pissed at the world today". But then you're committed to that one mood all day long. I have enough trouble in my foggy AM haze just figuring out what to wear let alone deciding which eyebrows to put on.
I think I prefer a little more flexibility in my personality. I like eyebrows that move around and reflect the words coming out of my mouth. Your brows can be a really helpful visual aid in getting your point across.
You could be some genius talking about quantum physics but that person across from you is fixated on your brows and thinking "what a dumb ass".
It's not just strictly the ladies either. I've been noticing more and more douche bag men getting their brows waxed.
Many would assume that it's the gays...but no, the major brow criminals seem to be the clueless hetero-metrosexuals. Maybe they think the effeminate brows look less threatening and therefore more likely to get them laid?
I don't really want to spend too much time deducing their motivations. My opinion is that men shouldn't be waxing anything at all...except their backs. Please. As for the rest of it: trim it, clipper it, shave it, whatever, grown men look good a little hairy...except their backs. Please for chrissake.
Maybe it just seems like a quick fix solution to some unhappiness in your life. You know, literally "putting on a happy face"? But that doesn't explain the pissed off Chola brows.
Why don't you just go see a counselor and work through your problems instead of taking them out on your appearance?
Maybe give your motivation some thought
before you take those brows off, because they don't always grow back. And don't think you can take a short cut to drawing them back on by tattooing them instead. It never looks right and like any tattoo they will fade to some weird color. Just ask Remy, the Filipino lady down at the diner on Judah Street with the green eyebrows.
If I can leave you with one thought it would be "subtlety". You have to make the best of what nature gave you with just a little tweak here and there. End of story. Your eyebrows should move and be made of hair and not look ridiculous. Put the tweezers down.
26 comments:
Amen.
Your posts just get better and better each time. This was so on point, it's not even funny. Yet it is funny.
I've never seen a guy who painted on his own eyebrows, but if I did it would be the greatest half hour of ball busting you've ever heard. I don't think it looks good on women, but on another dude it would definitely open the door to a grand display of ridicule. Douche bag doesn't even come close.
The only person who has the right to sport Lily Munster brows is Yvonne DeCarlo. Since she's dead, the madness needs to come to a careening halt.
Thanks for the laugh, I always appreciate a good one!
Great post ! and Thank you! I see many that I have a hard time even looking anywhere but the eyebrows. and that so shouldn't be what we take away from a first meeting!
ROTFL . . . way back in my 20's I used to shave my eyebrows and pencil them in. One of my coworkers told me I looked like Kukla from Kukla Fran and Ollie, ha ha ha (years later after they went back to normal he told me this)
BUT there was a reason behind the shaving. Ya see, one day I went to light the pilot light in my sister's oven and POOF . . . it singed some of my hair and my eyebrows so it was just easy to shave the other one off, ha ha ha
No worries, they are back to normal and now the problem I have is seeing well enough to pluck them, thank goodness for the beauty salon and waxing!
Happy New Year!
xxoo
A. Chulo styling is the WORST. The poor girls look diseased.
B. Now, don't be too harsh. LOL I have to clean up my eyebrows - they're as thick as hedges. I get them waxed so they're only as thick as moss :-P Hopefully, they don't LOOK attended to. I'm one of those who take 45 minutes in order to look ungroomed LOL.
C. Thanks for the info about Severance Hall - I've corrected my blog and given you credit!
If the eyebrows are painted on, the face is unable to reliably reflect feelings, kind of like botox. Sad.
Hysterical but true! There is a youtube video that depicts these creatures also known as "Chongas" with humor. It's called "chongalicious"
HHAAA! Fakeness for errybody these days! The metrosexual guy is the most shocking. I remember it happened in the 70's a lot, too. I remember lots of housewives and church ladies with drawn on eyebrows! The cholos around here love drawn eyebroes and dimply muffintops squezzing out of ultra tight jeans with belly bearing shirts whilst they have three messy toddlers clinging to their rolls.
please, either workout or wear normal clothes!!!!
Oh, soooooooo true. I love the wit you use in making your points. I am usually laughing to the end!
Oh my. . .the blond looks just like the receptionist at our Vet's office, especially the eyebrows. .I find it hard to look at her, and listen to what she is saying. .my eyes keep wanting to drift up to her completely drawn in eyebrows.
And as if that weren't enough, the gal that I've gone to for years for haircuts, completely pencils in her brows too, and has done so for most of her almost 50 years. She told me that she plucked them so much, that the hair never grew back, so now she has to draw them in.
I was born with a natural arch (you can see it in family photos for 5 generations and counting), but have the few stray hairs that need plucking. I've always taken care of it myself, until one day, when my fibro was acting up so much that I couldn't raise my arms, so she offered to wax them for me. .all went well, so I continued to have her do it. .until one day, when she got a little to "creative", telling me that as a woman gets older, she needs to "raise" her eyebrows more,AFTER she had removed most of my eyebrows!. .that was the last time she has touched my brows, and I'm still having problems. .some of the hair has grown back, some hasn't. .plus, as I've gotten older, my brows have thinned out on their own anyway. .it is not a pretty sight. I'm sure that when people look at me, they wonder what on earth I did. . . Sigh. . . .
You made me laugh so hard that I almost threw up. True confession: I don't pluck or shape my brows, so they look a bit like wooly caterpillars.
Holy moly, love this post!! Yay!!!!
I couldn't sleep last night, and decided to watch a movie. .I realized that I had never gotten to watch La Vie En Rose completely, and as I grabbed the box, the first thing that jumped out at me were Edith Piaf's eyebrows. .or lack of them, I should say, and I had to laugh, remembering this post.
Contrary to what each new generation thinks, there are no new fads. They simply revolve around again. One would think that to look at how awful some styles were, that one would choose not to travel that path, but apparently not. .
This NEEDED to be said! Eyebrows need to be near the EYE, not in the FOREHEAD!
I am seeing more and more men (straight and gay) plucking and tweezing their eyebrows to death!
Stop the insanity!
Too funny, and so true! I've got way too many gay friends who's eyebrows look like drag queens in training.
But then again, for those of us with the Frida uni-brow, clippers are our best friend.
Here, here!!! If it's not botox, it's eyebrow mutilation! I knew a guy that had blond eyebrows so he just shaved them and drew them in. Anytime anyone mentioned the "eyebrow guy" I knew immediately which guy that was. RIDICULOUS!
Thanks, William!
I get mine threaded .... enough said!
xox Pattee
Loved, loved, loved this post! And I learned a new word, too.
I always wanted thick eyebrows like Jennifer Connelly, I think they're sexy. Needless to say I leave mine alone :)
-K
Not sure if it's urban legend or not, but Lana Turner's eyebrows were once shaved for a movie and supposedly never grew back. She had to pencil them in the rest of her life. What a pain in the arse that would be!
OMG, I'm in tears I'm laughing so hard....
~ Carolee
Lol, I love you for this post! ;)
I laughed so hard at this!
So True and So funny. There should be eye brow police, send people home and have them start over.
Thanks for the laugh.
Waaaaaah, some are really disgusting!
I like your artwork, and I also like to watch uglyness someimes! make ne feel good about myself!!
;)
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